Stormbringer's Thunder

This one's for the male readers. I've been in some discussions about "nice guys". Some people don't get it, so I'm going to explain as concisely as possible. The way I have it figured, being a nice guy depends on your motivation . Being kindhearted, helpful, considerate and so forth are all admirable qualities and should be cultivated in everyone. And then there's the guy who is being "nice" because he thinks it will get him laid.  I'm going to talk in generalities, because there are always exceptions. The "nice guy" thing that bothers me is Nice Guy Syndrome. (No, not all psychologists accept this, but I believe it anyway.) These fellows often have self-esteem problems and are out of touch with their own masculinity. They do not know what they want, or do not care. What matters most is pleasing others, especially the women. Essentially, they feel that if they are nice and act like Helpy Helperton all the time, women will be attr...

Ernie the Gambler, Neil and I were having an interesting talk about control freaks the other day. We were trying to figure out what their problem is in the first place, and how to disarm them. Remember when I did that piece about manipulation and being manipulated ? Well, the control freak is worse. Everyone wants to have some control of their lives, their destiny, their workplace, their front porch, whatever. And mentally healthy people don't want to be controlled, they want at least some say in their relationships. These people are so weak minded that they are in so much fear and anxiety in their own lives, they want to control your life as well. You don't have much say when you're in a relationship with a control freak: Do what you're told. The problem is, when a control freak is a raving psychotic, there is no pleasing them; the rules constantly change. When you do what you're told or forced to do, this worst of controllers is still not pleased. Control freaks ...