July 28, 2011

Subconscious Things

It's almost morning. Lingering dream fragments are in my mind, some song is "playing" in my head, blending with my less-than-asleep state. Did I open my eyes? Dunno, maybe my closed eyelids are picking up the light of the rising sun through the blinds. I take a deep breath through my nose and roll onto my other side.

Must have dozed again, I didn't want to get up early for work and face The Tyrant and The Company. My pulse picks up a bit. Ernie the Gambler owes me money, but I'll have to wait because he'll have to pay Lela first. Get along fine with my own crew, but going up the food chain, watch out. Got an idea for an article. Might skip checking e-mail today. Shall I turn off comments on everything, forever? Maybe. Forgot to set out today's clothes last night. Did I take my meds before bed? Yes.

I take another deep breath through my nose. Coffee! Even mostly asleep, I finally realize what I'm doing: Sniffing for that "other" alarm clock, the coffee smell. The timer is set to get that stuff going before the actual alarm clock goes off, less waiting time after the beeps.

Finally opening my eyes, I shut off the alarm and stagger to the shower. Once I get going, I start waking up better. Crank the hot water all the way up because the clowns that put in the water heater were not licensed plumbers, just the apartment complex's handymen. So the water has to run a lot before it heats up. Turning on the hot water in the sink to help things along. It's slight, but I hear the change in the pitch of the water in the pipes. Good, it's heating up now.

All of this stuff, I'm barely aware of. Change in water sound, sniffing for coffee while still partially dreaming, thinking about the upcoming work day.

The mind is an amazing thing. Not only is it out of the question for me to believe that life itself evolved, but even more far-fetched is the concept of consciousness evolving. Beyond that, the idea that deeper layers or levels, the subconscious as some call it, also evolved is even more absurd.

I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well.
— Psalm 139.14 (WEB)


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