December 26, 2008

Bulletproof People

Don't worry, gang, Stormbringer still has plenty of thunder left in him. Not as loud today because I'm tired after the Christmas festivities.

First off, I want to clarify. At my age, I use the term "kids" loosely. It doesn't have to be someone college age or younger. I've seen people in their thirties that I consider "kids".

"What in the world are you on about, Cowboy Bob?"

People consider themselves bulletproof. The younger they are, the more indestructible they seem to think they are. Especially in areas related to health. Scott the Collector can booze it up, stay out late and still come in to work and I don't see a lack in his performance. Ernie the Gambler is gambling by chowing down on fast food and sugary sodas instead of decent meals. I don't mean that it's wrong all the time, but it's a lifestyle for him. That crap catches up to you. (It's funny, ZZ Top's "TV Dinners" just started playing...)

I want to tell people to wise up so they don't have health problems in the future. You know that I've told you about some heart difficulties that I've had, and became diabetic as well. Take care of yourselves while you can so you don't have to have my experiences. Yes, I know that things will happen despite your best efforts. But why go asking for trouble?

Here are some ways that I see the bulletproof mindset in younger people.

  • The "know everything" attitude. I want to knock some people over the head when they won't listen to the voice of experience, or even another intelligent viewpoint on a subject. This is often carried out through a statement that sounds like a prophetic utterance, no matter how inane it really is. Have you ever had a political or religious discussion with someone in the public indoctrination — I mean, education — system? It's alarming.
  • Refusing to admit when they're wrong. This is a kind of subcategory of the above point. It shows a closed mind, unwilling to listen to someone else's viewpoint or consider facts of which they were previously unaware.
  • Reckless driving. I've lost friends and acquaintances of all ages, or had them maimed, because of their cocky driving.
  • Reckless sexuality. Sure, you're young and you have more stamina. But promiscuity and binge sex? Aside from the moral difficulties and risk of incurable diseases, there are spiritual and psychological side effects that you are not considering.
  • Gullibility. Just because something is on the Internet, television, in a movie or "documentary" does not mean you have to suspend your ability to reason. Check things out, for crying out loud! Will this cause them harm? Well, what do you think?
  • Bad eating habits. Although I had straightened out my own habits for several years, the junk food caught up to me and I had to have a heart blockage removed. It accumulates and catches up to you in the future. And those blasted sugary drinks? You're killing yourself, Skippy. On the psych front, bad food and drinks (especially with little or no exercise) contributes to depression.
I don't think I need to go on about having the music too loud for too long, illicit drug use, excessive alcohol and tobacco or the inability to appreciate ZZ Top.

And I don't care what your music star and movie star heroes are doing. Let them self-destruct and go into rehab. Your assignment is to pay attention to what you're doing to yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. Consider using moderation.

I know you're probably saying, "This does not apply to me". See what I mean? Hey, I had to try.

December 21, 2008

A Time of Loss

Not much thunder from Stormbringer today.

Isn't it strange how sad events happen around Christmas? One friend told me that his brother-in-law's wife died last week, and that the brother-in-law has had a series of difficulties recently. Another friend knows someone who has suicidal tendencies. A third friend lost his father on Christmas Eve. I can name other disasters that happened around the week or two before Christmas. Yes, they happen all year round. But it's certainly more difficult at this time of year.

Today is December 21, 2008. About an hour and a half ago, my oldest brother died. He was 64.

Jack ("Jackie" to many family and friends) was born with Down Syndrome. He could not talk, but was able to do basic functions for himself. He was content to watch television or listen to his phonograph records. Jack was not able to stay at home for most of his adult life, and was in various state institutions and eventually into foster care. For the last few years of his life, he was in an adult home.

Later in life, he had health problems that developed. At the end, he had to use a walker to get around, and an oxygen tank was a frequent companion. Various infections occurred, and the last one is what did him in.

He was stubborn. The doctors were simply guessing, and I believe that it tormented our parents when they said he would not live very long. "He won't live to puberty"..."He won't live to..." Ha! He fooled them all. In fact, we understood on the 19th that he would not last the day. Stubborn Jack held off until the 21st.

There have been people praying for our family at this time, and we all have appreciated it. My next oldest brother and his wife were the main facilitators of his care. They did a great job, and I was especially glad of what they had to do, and deal with, while I was 750 miles away.

I have to admit that I had trouble in my younger years understanding and dealing with his condition. That, and the fact that we were apart most of the time added up so that we were never close. But he was still my brother. Hey, I've admitted my faults and failings on here before, yes?

One memory that keeps coming back is that my mother (who passed away a few years ago) said, "Just think, in Heaven, Jackie will be perfect." That was something for me to look forward to then as well as now.

I wouldn't be on my game if I did not add one moment of anger. This is directed to the arrogant atheists that seek to take away the faith of those of us who believe in God. What do you have to offer? Are you going to attempt to take away the comfort that my brother is now perfect, at peace, entirely whole in Heaven? That he will be with our mother? Or that our father, who does not know anyone (or who he is himself) will join them in a grand, happy reunion one day? Or the rest of us, at that? I have some people to look up myself...

I'm going to be more blunt here: This is part of what Christmas is all about. The real meaning. Jesus came to live among men, to die, to be bodily resurrected. At this time of loss, we have the hope that he gives us. Capice?

Addendum 12-22-2008:
Here is an excerpt from a letter from my sister-in-law. As I said, my father does not know anyone anymore, and does not even know who he is.
We stopped in to see Dad today. He did not seem to understand. I stopped in on one of his neighbors. Doris told me that last night after dinner, "John started scratching back & forth in his chair as he normally does; then all of a sudden he let out a very loud howl." Doris said he sounded like an angry bear. This would have been out the time of Jackie's passing. Just thought you would want to know.
Perhaps my father did know after all...
(Edit: My father died less than two months later.)

December 17, 2008

Liberal Kids These Days

Gather 'round, kids. Uncle Bob has another story to tell. This one is true (and I do tell you when they're not), but I'm not going to give names and locations because I don't want to cause undue embarrassment. I have proof, but that's only for my own satisfaction and not for public view. Also, I pieced together some of the details after the excitement.

I was messing with an instant messenger and picking on the daughter of one of my goomah's. She's in college, and I started playing. She did not know who I was, but the clues were there and she would have figured it out. Why didn't she? She's a bright girl. The problem was that she has a jealous, controlling boyfriend that was right there. He took over the messaging and started in on me.

The girl had told him she knew who it was, but he was having a good time thinking that he was ripping me a new one. He dared to accuse me of sexual harassment, which was laughably untrue. (I have plenty of girlfriends at the club, I don't need to make my moves on a college kid. Another reason that I wouldn't make any moves on the girl is that she is extremely liberal and the opposite of me in every way.)

Let me stop the story for a moment and point out that colleges are liberal indoctrination centers. Liberal girl's boyfriend was obviously a liberal as well. Why? Because she wouldn't hang around him if he wasn't, and because of what passes for education in colleges.

OK, back to the story. It is interesting is that he insisted that I identify myself, but refused to identify himself ("I don't have to!"). I did not initiate a conversation with this guy, and told him that he had a double standard. He did not know what it means! When I pointed it out, he still justified his actions. He was dead wrong on all counts, but still insisted that he was oh so very right.

I was nice to him for the girl's sake. People who know me are aware of my online slapdowns that send my opponents home crying to Mommie. Damn, I love running rings around them logically!

What I want to show is that cafone boy was incapable of restraining his emotions so that he could reason, he would not listen to his girlfriend (she knew it was me, remember), he certainly would not listen to any reason from me, he was fond of himself for thinking he had me (bada bing!), and justified his double standard.

I place a high value on critical thinking, even when it comes to emotions. The above situation shows what I already knew. Namely, that colleges do not teach reasoning skills. Instead, they teach liberalism, which is not logical and appeals to emotions. Liberals are in charge of the country now, and they seldom resort to rational thought processes. Reason is needed for making intelligent decisions. And that's why Conservatives need to take this country back. Capice?

December 1, 2008

Guard Your Cash

Buon giorno. I had been putting off writing this article until the first of the year, but I think people need to know now rather than later.

Now that Obummer and the other Socialists are going to be in charge in the USA, and economies are interconnected, perhaps what I have to say will affect readers outside these borders as well. Much of what I'm going to say is common sense, but sometimes things need to be summarized and repeated.

The economies are in bad shape, we all know. Our national "leaders" have points of view that will only make things worse. They will continue to create an entitlement (welfare) mentality, and will raise your taxes to do it. You believe that B. Hussein Obama will keep his promises to only raise taxes on the "rich"? Dream on. Or you want to see them pay more than they already do? You're dismissed. We don't need class warfare in this room, anyway.

I have no intention of giving you investment advice, however. This is simply what it takes to survive.
  • Times are tough, and they're going to get tougher. Start now and plan ahead.
  • Get out of debt, or lower as much of your debt burden as you can. Don't be foolish and only pay the minimums on your credit card debts, or you'll be there forever. And you don't want to have huge amounts of debt to pay off when they raise their interest rates. Those companies are always looking for an excuse to trick you, so they'll simply write a new rule and raise the rates.
  • Consider the underground economy. I'm not talking about the black market or downright illegal activities (that's some of my turf, anyway, so back off). Barter your way through things. What you need is the backyard mechanic that will fix your car because he owes you a favor anyway, or you can owe him one (be sure to pay it back!), or you may have other goods and services instead of money.
  • Pay cash. You can use this to gain a better rate. I know someone that needed limousine service and saved a couple of hundred dollars by paying cash. Hey, if some companies want to do business "off the books", that's up to them. Or the guy that will work on your computer if you give him cash or give him something else that he wants.
  • Do not buy things you do not need. I know you want that big-screen television, but put it off for a while. Maybe next year. If something you need has to be replaced, you'll probably have to do it. But not if it's going to be an expensive "upgrade". Not yet.
  • Back off from pressure. I have long believed that haste is Satan's favorite tool. "Do it now, or you'll lose the opportunity!" Sure, Buttercup. If I act now, I don't have time to think about it, figure my budget, find an alternative, see if I need it in the first place, and if you're a crook. Listen to that inner voice of caution.
  • Plan. That's the alternative to the pressure that I just mentioned. If you need or want something (Do I really need to tell you the differences between needs and wants?), look at your budget and plan for it. And learn about what you're wanting. Be an educated consumer. The more it costs, the more you should plan and think.
  • Don't be cheap. If you take the cheapest way out instead of paying for quality, you'll pay for the cheap stuff and pay to replace it with the good stuff. This is for things that matter. I don't care if you get salt and pepper shakers at the dollar store, capice?
  • Continue to give. It's a proven fact that Conservatives are more generous than Liberals, and charities will be hurting. I don't have time to go into the psychological and the spiritual aspects of giving, so I'll just say that we need to be here for others. Why? Because it's the right thing to do. Oh, you want something more practical. OK, try this: If you're not here for them, they won't be here for you. But I hope you're not that selfish.
I have some advice for businesses, too, in case they're willing to listen.
  • Make it up in volume. Don't be so greedy that you need fifty percent profit on ten items, when you can sell many more items if the customers see a lower price tag.
  • Excel in service. Tim's Automotive in Kingston, New York has done good work for my crew, and we recommend them. In fact, this "word of mouth" advertising brought us there.
  • Listen to the customer's needs as well as their words. Don't be a cheap stronzo and try to get them to spend money on something they don't need. Sell the correct product or service and they'll love you for that.
OK, Cowboy Bob is done for today. I hope you learned something. In fact, I implore you to follow this advice. And feel free to use the comments section.

September 24, 2008

Why I've Decided to Vote Democrat

Buon giorno. This arrived in my Inbox, and I decided to share it with the world.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat be cause when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, they'll come over here, and I don't want to have any guns in the house to shoot them with.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that good intentions and lofty ideas are more important than demonstrating any mechanism or experience necessary to make them happen.

I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my dog.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

Makes you wonder why anyone would EVER vote Republican, now doesn't it?

September 15, 2008

A Moving Experience

Buona sera. Cowboy Bob really hates the moving process, and that's what I'm in the middle of right now. There was the search process (which is frustrating and irritating enough), and I came through that in one piece. After the elation of finding a new place to go, there's the very tedious and stressful process of getting everything over there. Sure, the boys in the crew are more than willing to be pals and help drag furniture and boxes. But I have to put the stuff in the boxes, pack fragile items carefully, mark the boxes correctly ("Where the hell did I put the spare clip for the P-99?") -- and sort things.

The older we get, the more we need (and often want) to simplify. When moving day comes, you regret being a pack rat for all those years because you have to carry things that you haven't looked at in years or even forgot that you own in the first place. When the moving process is not hurried, you have time to sort through things and get rid of stuff. (When the moving process is hurried, you realize how much you don't need much more than the clothes on your back because you don't want certain unpleasant people to find you.) Simplify.

Here are some thoughts for getting ready for moving day (and uncluttering your life):

  • Act like there will be a moving day someday, even if you're not planning on one. That way, you're less likely to hold onto stuff that you really don't need; less hassle if the time does arrive.
  • Be honest with yourself. The old rule that "if you don't miss something when it's been out of sight and out of mind for a year, then you really don't need it" is a useful guideline. Especially if it's a picture of a lover that dumped you.
  • You can't be absolutely strict, however. Sometimes, there's a certain inner desire that you can't define that makes you keep something that's not practical. OK, if it doesn't take up too much room, and you don't have too many of those sentimental draws, fine, keep it.
  • Check with yourself later on. Maybe something you held onto can be discarded now; you're finally ready to let it go.
  • Re-evaluate every once in a while. "Where does this belong, instead of the junk drawer? Do I really need this in the first place?"
For the active packing aspect:
  • Give to charity or get in touch with Freecycle. I really hate it when people throw something perfectly good into the trash instead of giving it to someone else. It helps your conscience, is a form of recycling and probably brings you good karma.
  • Think about where it's going. Do you have room for it?
  • Plan the packing itself. Sure, that box will hold quite a few books. But can you lift it? Also, how much travel is involved? Your porcelain James Bond figurine may need extra bubble wrap if it's going to survive.
  • Don't judge your friends. Sure, there's always someone that will promise to help you move and then be a no-show. Forgive them. Also, some people that you think will help may have back problems or just have something that demands their time and they just can't do it. Get over it. However, if you are the one making the promise to help, be a man of your word. If you don't want to do it, don't make someone think you'll be there when you have no intention of doing it.
OK, that's enough. You get the picture, and you'll develop your own thinking and planning habits. And you'll learn to simplify.

September 9, 2008

Matters of Size

Advisory: Mature Content

Yep, I put an advisory on this one. It’s not going to be profane, illustrated or full of graphic descriptions of personal acts, but I’m reluctant for kids to read this.

Yours truly is not in much of a mood to kid around, so I’ll just get right to it. This one is for the men. If women are reading, fine. In fact, maybe you’ll want to send the link to this post (or use the e-mail button at the bottom of the article, next to the comments tag) and send it to male friends that need it.

I don't know how the rest of the world acts, but Western society places a great deal of value on the size of, uh, certain appendages. You know, the ones we usually cover up in public. Yeah, I see you’re catching on. Well, I’ll start with women anyway. I know you’re still reading this, and the first discussion point helps work towards my main goal.

I've heard women saying that they wish they could “upgrade” to larger breasts. Why? Because of the role society places on big hooters. And society changes. I read somewhere that in the 1920s, flat-chested was the “in” thing, and larger women would hide their size to appear smaller! And it’s not just men who put each other down. Women will put one another down for being less-endowed in the chest department.

If a woman isn't happy with her measurements, she has a few choices. One is to make the entire package more presentable. You change what you can, Cupcake, and have to live with the rest. Make the most of what you can, especially personality. If you think that all the guys will reject you because of the size of your melons (or apples, or limes, or whatever), well, first of all, you're wrong. Second, if some guy is going to reject you because of the fruit you bear (or bare), then he's a jerk and you're better off without him. Some men might have preferences, but it's usually the entire package that we want. If you have what your man wants, then accept that fact, and accept yourself as well.

By the way, forget the padding. Just like colored contact lenses, padding is false advertising. If you get a man interested in you, he'll eventually find out. It's better to be honest and up front (heh!).

I was so taken with one of my girlfriends that I didn’t even notice that she was impaired in the pair. She had so much going for her, I didn’t care about her measurements!

And now for the main topic.

It's more difficult for men in this society in regards to penis size. (Yes, I said it, deal with it.) It's become a measure of character and "manliness" to have a big cucumber. Uh huh. Wonder why this became a standard? Maybe you’ve been looking at too much porn, Zeke? (There really is a site called “circus penis”, featuring freakishly large men.) Porn stars are hired to fit an image that the producers want to present. And that image is not the typical male. No, commercial porn is fake. (Get real, nobody can last that long and have a woman squeal with joy the entire time. The director stops them, lets them cool down, and then they resume. Then there's editing the content.) Also, if you ever read porn stories, you’ll want to laugh out loud because the men are all so well-endowed: “She moaned with joy as she took my entire eight inches…” No wonder men have inferiority feelings! They watch porn (with all the realism of wrestling in the WWE), and they read fantasy stories and think that they’re real. I knew a guy that posted under the name of Hugh Jorgan. Sound it out a couple of times, you’ll get it.

Surveys say that most men are dissatisfied with their size, and wish they could be bigger.

Men get all upset because they think they’re not big enough, and that women (or “partners”, if you swing that way) will reject them because of that. Well, that’s between you and your lover. If you're pleasing, that’s all you need.

Let me point some things out, though. Because society equates “manliness” with penis size, and somehow, having a massive schlong automatically makes you a good lover. Neither assumption is true in the least. Notice the ridicule heaped on men? “Yeah, Charlie, you must have a small thing, there!” Or, “You’re a member of the Two Inch Club!” May as well make fun of someone for being too short, or too tall. Nobody can change those physical attributes, either.

Think, for crying out loud! How can something that is a genetic crap-shoot, an accident of birth, be something to be proud of? Man or woman, penis or breast, it’s nothing you built yourself. You have no right to boast about it, and you can’t change it. Accept it.

I know women that are intimidated by huge men. Doing the Bang Tango is sometimes painful for them! Sure, there are women that will have a preference for a “big” man. Fine, be that way. (Some have a physical problem that they can only feel “Hugh Jorgan”, and a minor surgery can correct that.) But there are many more women that are prefer a thoughtful lover that wants to please her.

Let me repeat this (and I hate to repeat myself): Having a big stick doesn’t automatically make you a good lay. Whatever you have, it’s how you use it. Learn some techniques, some skill, some restraint – and don’t be selfish. If you please her, she’ll most likely want you again.

If you want to get laid, you need to have some things going for you. Being married and faithful is vital. Good hygiene will help. So will decent manners, a job, an interesting personality, adequate clothes (don't be going Joe Fashion Conscious on me, though). Do some research at AskMen.com and Men's Health, among others, to see what turns women off — and on. Some goofball in a stained T-shirt, holding a beer, stinking like a goat and saying, "C'mere sweet cakes, gimme some sugar" isn't going to get lucky, is he? (Women aren't turned on by fat old guys. Unless those old guys have a lot going for them, especially money.) Oh, and walk with confidence.

Age doesn't always matter, either. Sean Connery was considered sexy in his sixties! Look at him, with that poise, confidence, walk...sounding nice, good thing I'm straight...

I’m going to close this with some links that back me up. I hope you guys will feel better about yourselves, accept the package (heh) that was delivered, and use it well. Here they are, read up, class: First, second, third.


Addendum 9-10-2008:
The last time I had sex, I had to pay an extra twenty dollars. I asked, "What's the extra twenty dollars for?"
"Finder's fee", she answered.

One last item for the Nervous Nellies that insist that they're too small: Remember seeing adverts for Enzyte, the "natural male enhancement" pill, with Smiling Bob? The penis size fears are so widespread that this pill was copied. Bad move. It's so fake that the founder of the enhancement pill is in jail for fraud!


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