Posts

Do You Show It?

This discussion is more for the men, but I think women can get something out of it as well. "Bond, I've always tried to teach you two things", said Q. "First, never let them see you bleed." "And the second?" "Always have an escape plan." Although it is wise advice for the spy world, we're going to look at it and expand on it. "Gosh, Uncle Bob, are you a spy?" Let's just say that I've had some dealings with, uh, unsavory characters in my time. And some of them still owe me favors. Youse guys payin' attention? (Sometimes you have to talk that way so that they understand you.) Never let them see you bleed. Right. If you're wounded, the bad guys will be even more ready to charge in and finish you off. And you can't show your weaknesses. How does that work for daily living? In the business world, you can't let your competition see that you're wounded or vulnerable. That also applies to office politics. It

Let Them Save Face

Today's lesson is about people skills. No, it's not a long discussion. But it's important. There is a custom in Japanese culture that involves "saving face". (I have been told that my face is not worth saving, but this is about a cultural thing, not literal or physical.) Essentially, it's about keeping your dignity. I'm not going to discuss the details of this cultual bit, but borrow from the idea (just like I do with Buddhism). In day-to-day dealings, we can irritate people very easily (they don't have a grasp of what is in the previous Weblog, it seems). But if we try to be a bit mindful of our approach, we can ruffle fewer feathers. We can let people save face and keep their dignity, especially in front of others. Heck, I've had bosses that do not require formal address, but in front of "company", I would be a bit more formal and even use "sir" or whatever was appropriate. Didn't cost me anything to do. Here are some tips

Ungrateful Expectations

Sometimes it seems to take forever to learn things. And sometimes, we learn things in a relatively short time but it takes many years to master them. I learned something important from a therapist. (Yeah, I had a therapist for clinical depression. It was good enough for Tony Soprano, so get over it.) This involves expectations, and what "should" be. He was fond of the Albert Ellis school of psychology, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. I don't agree with everything (I think the man's an atheist, for example), but a great deal of it makes sense. Suppose I go into a shop. Normally, I expect professionalism and courtesy. But suppose this guy is having a bad day, and he's rude. He shouldn't be rude, he should treat me right. Isn't that awful? No, it's not. I get angry because I'm expecting something I'm not getting. Instead, I should accept the fact that it's a little thing. The world isn't going to cave in because he treats me like a

Man Bad, Woman Good

Buona Sera, class. Your not-so-humble professor has been under the weather. And irritable. And lethargic. Maybe a remedy would be to write something. And this one is going to irritate some people. Sorry, but I tell the truth as I see it. If you don't like this one, the next posting will probably be quite different. I have a track record of that. Lately, I've been hearing the feminazi propaganda that comes down to "Woman good, man bad". You're heard it: "Girls grow up into women, boys grow into bigger boys"; men are the cause of all the evil in the world, control the wealth, destroy everything good, constantly think about sex, blather, blather, blather. That's why we should have voted for Hillary Clinton. (I had to backspace to remove my expletives just then.) The good news is that not all women feel this way. In fact, women point out that feminists are fakes. Saying that women are better than men is a discrimination in itself! And there'

I'm Sweet on You

Buon giorno. How's it going, Cupcake? Actually, I have to pass on the cupcakes. And the Milky Way bars. And the brownies... You see, yours truly has Type 2 Diabetes. Don't run away, you're not going to catch it, especially through a computer screen. They call it a "disease", but it's nothing I caught or can give away. "Condition" is a much better expression. Here's something ironic: the place I work had a bake sale, proceeds to benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. Guess what? They weren't selling anything that a diabetic can have! I'm interested in a couple of things. One is to sort of sound a warning so that other people don't develop this condition. The other is to offer some advice. (And I'm more than willing to receive advice as well!) Everything in moderation. "Gosh, Bob, how did you lose twenty pounds in just a few months?" Intelligent question! First off, losing the tonnage is an important part of mana

What Do You Have In Your Head?

Frankly, too many people have horse apples for brains. Why do you think that is? To misuse a verse in the book of Proverbs, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he". What are you putting into your head? Crap? Well, plants need fertilizer to grow with, but your mind is not a plant. My father was fond of saying that your mind is a garden. Plant thought seeds, water them and see what grows. If you plant good seeds, you get good results. The opposite is true as well. I tend to think that the mind is more like a computer. Any programmer knows that a computer is only as good as its input, which is GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out. Also, you need to have good programming in the first place, or even the best input will give bad results. Too many software vendors do not test their products thoroughly and rush it to market, and then have to issue patches and revisions. A simple way to show this is when you use a search engine. If you want to know the annual rainfall of Monterosso al Ma

You Have a Reputation

Addendum 11-06-2008: I usually put these addendums at the end, but this one is perfect for what I'm saying. Rush Limbaugh gave away a car to a caller on his show. He did it on a whim. Now, get this. When the people showed up at the lot, they were allowed to have the car before Limbaugh's money had reached them! They knew his word and his reputation! Buona Sera. I'm fine, thanks. Hope you're well. This thing has been burning in me and I can't wait to get it written and posted. What is a reputation? It's how people think of you, especially groups. Companies and things in general have a good reputation. Have you ever filled out a registration card for a product you purchased and seen a box under "what influenced your decision" that says, "Acme Corp. reputation"? The company is confident that the word on the street about them is good enough to make you buy something of theirs. Reputations often come about because of personal exper