Being Self-Sufficient

OK, Class, let's get right into things. This article should have come before the one about getting organized, I suppose, but that's how these things happen: I write what comes to mind, and the inspiration for this one did wasn't there yet. Hopefully, all three of my readers will forgive me. Not that I'll lose sleep over it.

I refer to self-sufficiency. Nothing to do with Ralph Weirdo Emerson and his overblown worship of intellect for it's own sake. If he had something to say, it's hard to find.

I have some things to say about self-sufficiency. That is, do it yourself. Part of it is based in exasperation, because I'm surrounded by lazy asses that put more effort into getting out of, or around, or making someone else do something that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves.

How about this one? A child, allegedly adult, calls her mother on the telephone to ask for a telephone number that she is able to look up herself. Or making her mother do something that (you guessed it) she could have done herself, again.

Or this: a guy works for a company that provides uniforms, including cleaning. Great, wish I had that. But he's too dense and lazy to bring them to work to get them cleaned, so he insists that his girlfriend washes them for him. I know some guys think that the Guy Code prohibits men from doing their own laundry, but this clown needs to be clubbed upside the head, just like the lazy slob in the other examples. (I'll deal with the Guy Code and Real Men in a later article, it'll be a good one.)

"Gosh, Uncle Bob, why should I do something for myself when someone else will do it for me?"

So I don't bitch slap you for being so freaking lazy, for one thing. It's selfish, inconsiderate, rude, stupid...you get the picture.

Don't get me wrong, there are some things you can't do. Some people call on me to work on their computers because they know I have some skills that they lack. That's fine. Or, you use your personal network of friends, acquaintances, business associates and what have you to get some need met. Great. That's what the network is there for. Just remember, you'll be a real stronzo if you don't do your part to help someone else out.

What are the benefits for doing something yourself? Let me tell you something that happened to me. When I was between relationships, some wise people pointed out that I should not just jump into the next relationship, but get some self-sufficiency. It was an excellent experience, learning how to do things that I had depended on others to do. And it showed me that I could be capable if I tried to get things done.

The first benefit is intangible: a sense of accomplishment. Even a small accomplishment can help your psyche. "Hey, I did that!" Especially if you thought you couldn't do it. If you try and fail, you know what to do next time. And then you do it successfully the next time, and get all happy with yourself.

The second is that you're not a burden to others. Yeah, whining and being needy are ugly character traits, and they bother everyone. Just shut up and try to do it.

Third, you know something is done your way. "Mommie, will you go to the store for me and buy me a TV dinner? This kind sucks..." Loser. Get it yourself, and then you see why Mommie couldn't get it last time, they're out of stock, or you told her the wrong thing.

Fourth, you get respect from others. Yeah, you did that yourself. Looks good, Buttercup. And you didn't go crying to someone else for it. Feels good, too. Respecting yourself and knowing others respect you is great. Some people will never know this, of course.

Number 4-A here is if you try and fail. You get some points for making an honest effort. Then you call in the experts and try to learn something so maybe you can do it yourself. Or learn that it's something you should not even attempt and pay to have done, like a prefrontal lobotomy is not something that you should attempt yourself. Whoops.

Fifth, you can plan better. I have some things to do after work, including posting this Weblog article that I'm composing on my lunch break. I planned what and when, and other errands and things that I need to get accomplished in my time-budgeting. I planned things, they came together. Do you ever see James Bond doing things half-hearted or unplanned? Not much.

I hope this is worthwhile for you. It should be, it's pretty good. Now, read it again, and then read the one about how to get things done, it's good for your mental health.

Arrivederci, Baby!